Be Forgiving Towards Yourself

Hi everyone! How have you been? I know that I went MIA after my last post cause I had so many things going on after moving back to my home country, especially during COVID-19.

I had to readjust myself again after having lived abroad for almost 2 years. I'll never regret for making that decision; I've learned so many things while being abroad and my mental health has improved a lot due to the sudden change of the environment in mid 2019. I'm proud of myself that I've mustered the courage to go abroad for my studies and to have been able to maintain a long-distance relationship with my current boyfriend (and we're still going strong). 

After moving back and quarantining myself for 2 weeks, I contacted my psychotherapist again to resume my therapy sessions again. I had no therapy abroad because I didn't want to talk about it again with a complete stranger. I felt delighted when I got to see my therapist sooner than I have expected because the center of mental health already had a long waiting-list. 

It's understandable why the center has a waiting-list. Many people have developed mental health issues, since the pandemic. Some people are struggling because of the isolation/ unemployment/ ongoing mental health issues/ etc. And the anxiety gets even more amplified because of the uncertainty, and unclear leadership & communication of the government. 

I totally understand if you're struggling mentally and I wish that you could show more compassion & love towards yourself. 

I know that changing the negative way you view yourself isn't easy at all, but I would like you to ask yourself if that way of thinking is helping you at all. When you happen to have thoughts which are harming your self-image and self-esteem; try replacing them by giving yourself one or several compliments. Try to look into and at yourself in the mirror and face yourself. Tell yourself what you actually like about yourself. And what kinds of compliments have you heard about yourself? And if you haven't had received any compliments from another person, it's okay don't worry. 

What do you like about yourself appearance wise? 

What do you like about yourself as a person? I'm talking about your personality. What did you do in the past that you were so proud of and felt genuine happiness? What were you good at?

When the first compliment flows in, try to grasp and feel it. 

1. You might feel nothing

2. You might feel some happiness/jittery/something else

3. You might not accept the compliment and deny yourself

Write that compliment down in a notebook (if you have one) or a piece paper and look at what you've written for a while. After that, take it and hold it against your chest. Try to imagine that you're absorbing the compliment into your body and try to embody that compliment.

It's not easy to find something likeable about yourself after a first try and that's totally okay. If the first time doesn't work, try another time without criticizing yourself. It's okay to fail. Forgive yourself and tell yourself that it may work better next time. 

And when you're able to give yourself your very first compliment, reward yourself by either giving yourself a pat, telling yourself that you did well and that you're proud of yourself, etc (as long as the reward doesn't harm your wellbeing). And try to reward yourself when a new compliment comes up.

Wish you a lot of love and luck!

Lots of love,

Sông-Sông D.

Perfect Opportunity To Reflect Upon Ourselves

Hi everyone! How have you been lately? I hope you're not getting too lonely or bored during this self-quarantine... 

Some of you are probably busy because of their studies at home or parents who have to preteach their children to prevent them from forgetting their lessons and teaching them new topics and juggling with their work, too, etc. 

The world is slowing down (except for those who are fighting hard at the front lines against the COVID-19)... I guess there are people who have (almost) nothing to do on a daily basis, and I'm one of them. The only things I do are helping out with house chores, baking/cooking for fun and studying and practicing occasionally. 

I thought that being always productive was a good thing, a year ago. And I pushed myself to do something more... I realised a few months ago that we can also be productive by being stagnate for a short period. 

And this time is the perfect time to do that by just reflecting on yourself and to meditate. It is time to find your inner peace during this chaotic period. I know it won't come directly for some of you, but finding peace is a process. It's a journey of self-discovery. Sometimes it's easier and then the other times... maybe not, but that's OK. Don't be hard on yourself if you don't get it like you wanted. The keys to finding your peace are your patience and compassion towards yourself.

Some of you like to do it in a quiet secluded place/room and some may not mind the little sounds in the background. Everyone is different. To meditate is to get in touch with yourself, feelings, thoughts, etc. without being self-critical. You're there to observe and to allow yourself to feel everything within you. It doesn't mean that you have to detach yourself completely. Feel, observe and acknowledge. 

If you're a beginner, I would recommend you to start with at least 5 minutes of meditation.  Just by focusing on your breath. Your breaths need to be deep and slow. Chest must stay still, only your stomach can move. Try to imagine that your stomach is a balloon. Every time you breath in (5 seconds), your stomach is being filled with air. Then breath out slowly (7 seconds) to release the air from the stomach and repeat it for at least 5 minutes.

Your mind may wander during your first sessions, but it will get better afterwards. Don't push yourself if it doesn't work anymore, stop and retry it later. 

You may meditate in a sitting or lying position with closed eyes, as long as you feel comfortable. 

I hope this post was understandable to you. If there's anything you would like to request, be sure to give me a comment.

Take care everyone! And don't forget to love yourself and other people!

Resilience

Hi everyone! How have you been lately? I'm doing quite well.

The current times are hard to some of you and I understand that. Especially, those who are living alone/are living with domestic abuse or those who need mental health support regularly. 

We are all in this together and it is really important to find support for yourself or show support to someone you know who might be vulnerable right now. No matter what. Giving up is not an option. It will definitely get better after all this crisis. 

Right now, almost everything will be done at distance to ensure everyone's safety. 

Please take care of yourself as much as possible. Then you'll be able to take care of someone else. 

Limit your direct contact with other people and respect everyone, especially those who are in  the front lines: paramedics, cashiers, deliverers, ... etc. (Those who come in direct contact with other people because of their duty)

It might be hard for everyone right now, but we will be stronger and more united when all this is over. 

Take care everyone!