Be Forgiving Towards Yourself

Hi everyone! How have you been? I know that I went MIA after my last post cause I had so many things going on after moving back to my home country, especially during COVID-19.

I had to readjust myself again after having lived abroad for almost 2 years. I'll never regret for making that decision; I've learned so many things while being abroad and my mental health has improved a lot due to the sudden change of the environment in mid 2019. I'm proud of myself that I've mustered the courage to go abroad for my studies and to have been able to maintain a long-distance relationship with my current boyfriend (and we're still going strong). 

After moving back and quarantining myself for 2 weeks, I contacted my psychotherapist again to resume my therapy sessions again. I had no therapy abroad because I didn't want to talk about it again with a complete stranger. I felt delighted when I got to see my therapist sooner than I have expected because the center of mental health already had a long waiting-list. 

It's understandable why the center has a waiting-list. Many people have developed mental health issues, since the pandemic. Some people are struggling because of the isolation/ unemployment/ ongoing mental health issues/ etc. And the anxiety gets even more amplified because of the uncertainty, and unclear leadership & communication of the government. 

I totally understand if you're struggling mentally and I wish that you could show more compassion & love towards yourself. 

I know that changing the negative way you view yourself isn't easy at all, but I would like you to ask yourself if that way of thinking is helping you at all. When you happen to have thoughts which are harming your self-image and self-esteem; try replacing them by giving yourself one or several compliments. Try to look into and at yourself in the mirror and face yourself. Tell yourself what you actually like about yourself. And what kinds of compliments have you heard about yourself? And if you haven't had received any compliments from another person, it's okay don't worry. 

What do you like about yourself appearance wise? 

What do you like about yourself as a person? I'm talking about your personality. What did you do in the past that you were so proud of and felt genuine happiness? What were you good at?

When the first compliment flows in, try to grasp and feel it. 

1. You might feel nothing

2. You might feel some happiness/jittery/something else

3. You might not accept the compliment and deny yourself

Write that compliment down in a notebook (if you have one) or a piece paper and look at what you've written for a while. After that, take it and hold it against your chest. Try to imagine that you're absorbing the compliment into your body and try to embody that compliment.

It's not easy to find something likeable about yourself after a first try and that's totally okay. If the first time doesn't work, try another time without criticizing yourself. It's okay to fail. Forgive yourself and tell yourself that it may work better next time. 

And when you're able to give yourself your very first compliment, reward yourself by either giving yourself a pat, telling yourself that you did well and that you're proud of yourself, etc (as long as the reward doesn't harm your wellbeing). And try to reward yourself when a new compliment comes up.

Wish you a lot of love and luck!

Lots of love,

Sông-Sông D.