The Struggle Within Me

I've become a more positive - thinking person lately and I wish that I could keep up on thinking like that... But it's taking a big toll on me because I'm starting to hesitate if my current friends are still my friends... I feel left out, but I also don't want to blame them because of my selfish feelings.

My past isn't rose-colored and I've also experienced many things that could have made me happy, sad, frustrated, ... But In this chapter I'm going to confess another thing about my past. Something that many people have or everyone has experienced... 

<<The Betrayal of A Friend or Friends>>

I've got betrayed many times in the past when I was still in elementary school... I've always thought that those "friends" were my friends. I took care of them and I always did my best to make them happy. But I was always fooling myself even after we graduated from school. Everyone got separated and left me behind. And I've come to my senses after one or two years that I was never happy when I was with them.

By the time when I was in middle school and highschool, I've met other people who shared the same interests as me and we became friends after that... They really made me happy and I still love them.

I'm usually a person who doesn't really like to get attention from the others, but when I need it at that time... They aren't there for me or that's what I thought... My selfish feelings are making me sad and I begin to blame my friends because of that. (I don't want that and I'm really sorry! TT^TT)

But there are times when I want to go very far away where there's no people around and jump off of a cliff to forget everything... (I still have these kind of thoughts, but I won't plan on making an attempt anymore)

I just want you to know that you have to move forward no matter what happens to you. There are many ups and downs in our life... Every time you fall, you have to stand up again and move forward. The moment when you stand up again and move forward towards the goal; is the moment when you become stronger. ;-)

We have to do our best! ^_^