Affecting Words - Healing (Update)

Hi there! ( ^_^ )

In this chapter I'm going to talk about the words that are still affecting me. (even though I grew out of my trauma)


It's not like I get flashbacks from the past (maybe I still do), but those words just give me a disgusting feeling/vibe. 


- grope

- rape

- caress

- glaring

- sex

- ... etc.


(All kinds of words that are related to the sexual assault/activities and pedophilia) - You can just say that these words are kind of a taboo to me, but they are also not at the same time... If you know what I mean. I can still talk about them normally, but I'll have bad feelings after that.


2 years ago, I couldn't even say those words out loud. I always broke down or got angry just by thinking about it. But I've learned to deal with it, after talking about it with my close ones. I always cried when I was talking about it in the past, but this time's different. I didn't cry just by thinking/talking/reading about it, but the anger didn't disappear.


The most important thing that you have to know from my experience is that you have to learn how to deal with your trauma. I've learned to process and deal with it by talking about it with someone or writing it down in my journal. You have to become more aware of your thoughts and your feelings, and learn to accept them as they are. 


First, take a moment for yourself when you're having negative feelings or thoughts. Then, try to describe how you're feeling or what you're thinking - without judging yourself. Just describe them. You can also ask someone to listen to you or write them down if it doesn't work. Being aware of your feelings and thoughts is really important in order to feel less (di)stressed. Being aware is not enough. You also have to accept them as they are. If you strain yourself from accepting your feelings or thoughts, then you're going to feel even more suffocated. 


For example: Your body and mind are like a room (if we try to visualise it). And in that room, you're trying to suppress those feelings and thoughts in it. (the room gets smaller) - That's what most people do and they suffer after that just because they've suppressed their feelings/thoughts or both. 


The healing process can only proceed if you've learned to accept them as they are.


Good Luck! ( ^_^ )