To be honest with you, I'm still not really satisfied with my current life. I'm happy right now, but I'm seeking for something more... Larger... With a signification/meaning to it...
To me, your happiness is also my happiness... A life with a meaning to it - is a life full of happiness with big achievements. A life where you get the support of your loved ones.
When you want to make other people happy; you, yourself have to be happy first. (That's what I've learned from a Japanese Animation; a.k.a. Anime)
In this next paragraph I'm going to talk about my "New Stage of Life". If you read one of my previous chapters (Graduating), I've graduated from high school. And starting 18/09, I'm going to attend college. But I'm going to review some lessons tomorrow. I'm not going to be really motivated when I'm going to lessons without my friends. ( ^_^') Being alone in an unknown place full of people makes me anxious and a little bit hostile. Well, I'm going to see how it goes tomorrow... ( - 3-')
Monday 31 August 2015
Friday 28 August 2015
The Struggle Within Me
I've become a more positive - thinking person lately and I wish that I could keep up on thinking like that... But it's taking a big toll on me because I'm starting to hesitate if my current friends are still my friends... I feel left out, but I also don't want to blame them because of my selfish feelings.
My past isn't rose-colored and I've also experienced many things that could have made me happy, sad, frustrated, ... But In this chapter I'm going to confess another thing about my past. Something that many people have or everyone has experienced...
<<The Betrayal of A Friend or Friends>>
I've got betrayed many times in the past when I was still in elementary school... I've always thought that those "friends" were my friends. I took care of them and I always did my best to make them happy. But I was always fooling myself even after we graduated from school. Everyone got separated and left me behind. And I've come to my senses after one or two years that I was never happy when I was with them.
By the time when I was in middle school and highschool, I've met other people who shared the same interests as me and we became friends after that... They really made me happy and I still love them.
I'm usually a person who doesn't really like to get attention from the others, but when I need it at that time... They aren't there for me or that's what I thought... My selfish feelings are making me sad and I begin to blame my friends because of that. (I don't want that and I'm really sorry! TT^TT)
But there are times when I want to go very far away where there's no people around and jump off of a cliff to forget everything... (I still have these kind of thoughts, but I won't plan on making an attempt anymore)
I just want you to know that you have to move forward no matter what happens to you. There are many ups and downs in our life... Every time you fall, you have to stand up again and move forward. The moment when you stand up again and move forward towards the goal; is the moment when you become stronger. ;-)
We have to do our best! ^_^
I just want you to know that you have to move forward no matter what happens to you. There are many ups and downs in our life... Every time you fall, you have to stand up again and move forward. The moment when you stand up again and move forward towards the goal; is the moment when you become stronger. ;-)
We have to do our best! ^_^
Wednesday 12 August 2015
My Inner Changes
This time, I'm going to talk about my inner changes after I've started to visit my counselor. She's a very nice and fun person to talk to. I was very nervous at our first meeting. I didn't really smile and I was really shy in front of my counselor. My (little) sister was also present at that time. (24 April 2014)
I've just visited my counselor today with my sister (my sister went for the second time after more than a year and it was unexpected for my counselor) and we talked about my changes during this whole year. My counselor asked my sister if she did notice the changes around me. My sister did notice the changes and summed them up. She said that I laughed more than before and that I've became more spontaneous in front of people. I even dare to say what I think or feel a bit more than before, but I'm still not very social and outgoing as my sister. Even though we're very different from each other, we are very close to each other. We can learn things from each other, like for example: I'm more sensitive to someone's emotion than my sister. I can read someone's emotion even if they try to hide it while my sister is unable to feel or read someone's emotion. On the other hand, my sister has a wider social circle than I have. According to her, the key to be able to expand your social circle is to have 'small talk' with different kinds of people. And when you have more connections with those people, you have more options to chose people whom you can trust and having serious conversations with. And then you have people to hang out with, but you don't have serious conversations with those people.
I felt really happy after this meeting because I could hear my changes from someone else. This meeting gave me more insight on myself. ( ^_^ )
What I've also noticed recently was that I began to speak more to myself. (inner dialogues)
People asked me sometimes what I was talking about when they were standing next to me. They always thought that I was talking to them. I often speak to myself about my own emotions unconsciously. I don't know why, but it made me less frustrated.
I've just visited my counselor today with my sister (my sister went for the second time after more than a year and it was unexpected for my counselor) and we talked about my changes during this whole year. My counselor asked my sister if she did notice the changes around me. My sister did notice the changes and summed them up. She said that I laughed more than before and that I've became more spontaneous in front of people. I even dare to say what I think or feel a bit more than before, but I'm still not very social and outgoing as my sister. Even though we're very different from each other, we are very close to each other. We can learn things from each other, like for example: I'm more sensitive to someone's emotion than my sister. I can read someone's emotion even if they try to hide it while my sister is unable to feel or read someone's emotion. On the other hand, my sister has a wider social circle than I have. According to her, the key to be able to expand your social circle is to have 'small talk' with different kinds of people. And when you have more connections with those people, you have more options to chose people whom you can trust and having serious conversations with. And then you have people to hang out with, but you don't have serious conversations with those people.
I felt really happy after this meeting because I could hear my changes from someone else. This meeting gave me more insight on myself. ( ^_^ )
What I've also noticed recently was that I began to speak more to myself. (inner dialogues)
People asked me sometimes what I was talking about when they were standing next to me. They always thought that I was talking to them. I often speak to myself about my own emotions unconsciously. I don't know why, but it made me less frustrated.
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